Why isn’t being gay considered cool? It’s rebellion with sex! How much cooler can you get!?
These ancient blues and grays
Which our ancestors call home
Form coffins from mythic days
Carved into walls of stone
It was on these steps she left me
To walk the endless halls
As it once was it shall be
I must join my mother in these walls
Now let us honor their fears
As I have swallowed my shame
I offer my blood and my tears
And I pray you offer the same
I HAT E THAT MAN IT SUCKS LIKE DON”T GO TO THE STORE CAUSE NO MONEY AND CANT EAT WATSH IN THE HOUSE CAUSE IT”S ALL A FUFKC TON OF PISS IM REALLY SPASTIONATE ABOUT THIS GOD
I think “SPASTIONATE” is my new favorite word, it just describes the feeling so perfectly! I”M FUCKING SPASTIONATE OKAY!
There’s no food in the house… the only food is my snacks and ALL MY SNACKS ARE INSANELY SPICY. My choices are dying of hunger and dying of heat…
I am the last bottle of alcohol on a sinking ship
Held tightly by a man who doesn’t know better
Dark brown, maybe bourbon, probably rum
My label is faded to a beautiful ugly yellow
Ragged and torn but the picture shows clear
A naked woman the color of a sun burned river
Sits with her back to me by a feeble stream
The grass grows tall against her Eden body
She was born to be alone and she is perfect
Her ink separates as it hits the freezing water
The river and her stream flow into the ocean
Now I simply float as just another empty bottle
Held tightly by a corpse who didn’t know better
I counted, I have exactly 27 bug bites, just on my feet, isn’t that pleasant.
In other news, as I’m not going back to college this semester, because I’m a rebel or an artist or something I forget, I’m assigning myself a daily list of things to do so I don’t turn into a stupid mush over the fall. Every day except the weekends will have a minimum of: one hour of exercise, one hour of learning a skill, one hour of learning facts, one hour of working on projects, and one hour of being outside or socializing in some capacity. The semester doesn’t start till next week, so I’m just getting ready for all this now by being a bit lax on the rules, but by next week I should have my daily schedule up and running!
My goal is simply to be smart, beautiful, and happy by the end of the year, doesn’t sound so hard.
Tent broke, I’m back, feel pretty sore, but no bears so that’s a plus I guess. In the day I was out there though I had a really nice time. Hiking out there sucked, but that’s just cause I’m out of shape, but when I was on the campsite it was great. Staying in the tent next to ours was this wonderful woman, she immediately invited us over to hang out and eat and drink and all that, I learned she’d camped in every state in the US aside from Alaska and Hawaii, she left home at 19 with absolutely nothing, couch hopping, broke, sorta homeless though never without shelter, had a punk phase, been to jail, worked an office job at some point in the middle there, and now was back to living from campsite to campsite. She was fascinating and funny and just the sweetest, she was incredibly spacey, would forget things all the time, but she wasn’t stupid, she knew what she was doing, she just didn’t have much of a care in the world it seemed. She had a precious little cat with a cone on it’s head and the palest blue eyes, the cat was chill and would stand up to dogs like a G, probably stupid on the cat’s part but I gotta give it props for being a brave little kitty. The thing that fascinated me most about this woman was the way she smiled and laughed, she was clearly somewhat middle aged, mid thirties, but her laughs and her smiles were so genuine and untainted, I’d never seen someone at that age have such a free and happy personality, it was the same way my friends laughed, maybe even a little more comfortable with herself than we are. I learned a lot about camping, how to set up a tent and gather wood, but the most important thing I think I learned was that when you get older life doesn’t have to be boring and stupid and hateful and taxes, and not every “adult” is negative and condescending and defeated, she had a youthful joy in every smile and every laugh that challenged every piece of sadness I cling so hard to. When I’m her age I hope I’m a lot like her, and I would be honored to have a partner like her. Her name was Hope, and I think she changed my life for the better.
Well it’s not like I post here much so y’all probs won’t even notice, but for the next week I’m gonna be camping/hiking/foolishly wandering into a forest with absolutely no idea what to do. So see ya in a week, unless I get eaten by bears, in which case I’ll be in a bear for awhile… #bearlife